How To Spice Up Your Relationship

The beginning of every relationship is exciting. But, as weeks turn into months, you may find your relationship getting into a rut. Seeing a call from your significant other doesn’t give you the butterflies it once did.

Going out for dinner and having the waiter know your order is comforting, but you might find yourself craving the thrill of your early dates. The truth is, relationships take effort regardless of whether they are just starting out or a few months old. Here are a few ideas on how you can spice relationships up.

Plan a proper date

Don’t limit yourself to having dinner delivered or going to your regular restaurant. Instead, plan a proper date for just the two of you. Find a new restaurant or book tickets to a comedy show. The main idea is to pick an activity or an outing that isn’t part of your regular routine.

Make an effort to dress up, you could even buy yourself something new. If you’re not living together, plan to meet at the venue at a particular time – this way you don’t see each other before your date begins. Here are a few fun date night ideas:

• Go bowling
• Take a wine and cheese pairing class together
• Book a massage
• Go dancing

Regular date nights are a good idea to spice relationships, but make sure you don’t let this become a routine too!

Book a hotel room

Back when your kids didn’t know who you were dating, hotels were a place of refuge for your sex life. Now, they can be a good place to spice up your relationship.

Ask your parents or someone you trust to take your kids for a night and book yourself and your partner a hotel room. Even if it’s just for a night, step out of your pajama zone and indulge in some room service to spice up your relationship. If you can, get out of the city and take in a change of scenery. When you’re not bogged down by having to clean up and put away dishes, you can focus on each other completely

Go on holiday together

A getaway is always a good idea. You can plan a holiday together or surprise your partner with a trip. Even if you’re going somewhere just for the weekend, it’s a chance for you to reconnect with each other without any distractions and reignite your sex life. If you know your partner has a place they’ve always wanted to go to, this could be your take-off point. If you’re dating a single dad, make sure his kids have a place they can stay while you’re away.

Try something new

Film nights and dinner dates can quickly become boring. If you’re looking at reigniting the spark in your relationship, you need to do something new. Experiencing new activities brings you closer to your partner and gives you something to bond over. It breaks the monotony of your daily routine and takes you out of your comfort zone while putting you in an environment where you can’t really tell what comes next.

Make use of your day off or the time when your kid is asleep to plan these activities. Here are a few ideas:

• Take a bicycle tour of the city
• Join a dance class
• Volunteer at an animal shelter
• Go to a museum

Switch off the TV and talk

Good communication is the cornerstone of every strong relationship. So, switch off the TV before you go to bed and spend time talking to each other. Pay attention and listen to what your partner says. This means listening without interruptions, looking at your phone, or yelling.

You might not agree with everything your partner has to say, but you still need to listen to it and be open to their thoughts. If you have something to say, wait until your partner has finished talking before you speak your mind.

Though you know their usual routine, ask them about their day and be curious. You never know- you might get a great idea for how to surprise them on your next date. If you’re stumped for conversation starters that go beyond your daily routine, here are a few ideas to spice relationship conversations:

• What’s the hottest memory you have of us?
• If you had to choose a song that reminded you of us, what would it be?
• What do you think is your best quality?

Make plans

Just because you know you can’t travel while schools are in session, it shouldn’t keep you from making plans for your next holiday. Planning events and trips together gives you something to look forward to.  They don’t always have to be elaborate plans; what really matters is that you make plans together and discuss them.

Give yourself ‘Me’ time

It might sound counterintuitive, but taking some time apart for you to focus on yourself can actually bring you closer to your partner. Like you take care of your family, take care of yourself by eating right and staying fit. Even a few hours by yourself without the kids or a to-do list can help you relax. Go to the spa and pamper yourself, or spend time at home reading a book.

Just like you need time for yourself, make sure you give your partner enough time for themselves too. This means you don’t text and call when they say they’re meeting up with friends or want to spend an evening by themselves at home.

When you’re relaxed, you’re happier, and you have more patience with your partner. So, you’ll be less likely to argue and more able to listen.

Work on yourself

Once your partner has seen you in sweatpants without makeup, it’s easy to get complacent. Turn it around and spice relationships up by giving yourself the attention you deserve. When you look good, you feel more confident and that, in turn, will draw your partner closer.

If you’ve put on weight that’s making you feel uncomfortable, start working out to tone your body. Wear clothes that flatter your body even when you’re at home. Make a spa appointment and pamper yourself a little. Get your hair done or get a pedicure – whatever it takes to make you feel sexy. It’ll give your sex life a dramatic boost.

Surprise them

Little gestures can go a long way to spice relationships up. For example – who doesn’t like flowers – have a bunch delivered home for no reason other than to let your partner know that you think they’re special. Leave a love note in a place you know your partner will see it. Here are a few other ideas:

• Make a romantic playlist
• Pack a picnic
• Record a message and set it as your partner’s alarm
• Introduce new moves to your sex life

Use love languages

Find out your partner’s love language and speak it to spice it up. The most common love languages are physical touch, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation and acts of service. Using love language to communicate ensures that your love isn’t lost in translation and your partner feels special.

For example, let’s say your partner is a person who believes actions speak louder than words. Wake them up with a fresh cup of coffee or make them their favourite dish for dinner.

Give your partner a massage

There’s nothing like a relaxing massage to make your partner feel good. Though you’re not a professional masseuse, get some aromatic oils and give your partner a massage. The activity doesn’t have to have sexual undertones. But it is definitely intimate and will give both of you a rush of hormones to boost your sex life.

Walk down memory lane

Sometimes going back in time shows you the way forward to spice up relationships. Spend an evening going down memory lane together with your partner. Share your childhood memories with them.

If you grew up in the same town, order in from your favourite family restaurant, go through photo albums. Along with stories from your childhood, reminisce about the early days in your relationships. Talk about your first date night, what attracted you to each other, and your sex life.

Be spontaneous

No matter how long you’ve been together, getting a message that tells you “Be ready. I’m picking you up in 10 minutes” is sure to give you goosebumps and spice up the relationship. Spontaneous activities are thrilling because they’re unexpected. Something as simple as taking your partner out to lunch on a weekday can make your relationship feel young again. Of course, when you’re dating a single mum, you will need to ensure your spontaneous plan doesn’t interfere with their kid’s schedule.

Touch each other

Physical touch is an important way of expressing your love. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in a relationship. Reaching out to your partner with a hug or a kiss reassures them of how you feel about them.

Did you know a hug can increase oxytocin levels? Use this knowledge to spice up your relationships. Hug your partner when you see them, and hold the hug for a few seconds longer than usual. When you go for a walk, hold hands, cuddle with each other on nights you spend together…

Compliment your partner

Don’t wait for an occasion to tell your partner what you think is special about them. Give them a compliment and tell them things you like about them to boost their confidence. It makes your partner feel special and reminds you of why you’re dating them. Apart from their physical attributes, here are a few types of compliments you can send your partner:

• You’re an inspiration – say this when your partner does something that impresses you
• I’m so proud of you – say this to show your partner that you trust them and respect them
• You’re such a great mum/dad – every single parent prioritizes their child, and this is one of the best compliments you can pay them.

Let’s reignite that spark

You met an amazing person on Even, and you’ve been together for a few months now. It’s normal for people in relationships to grow bored with their day-to-day routine. But you can bring back the excitement with just a little effort. Make time for each other, plan a date night, dress up for each other, write romantic notes – take your pick and get ready to spice up your relationship.