Dating Tips4 minutes Safia, 24 February 2023

What to do when you’ve been ghosted

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You’ve been in a relationship with someone for a few weeks or months, and then all of a sudden the person disappears from contact with no explanation. You’ve tried to get in touch, but all your messages go unanswered. This practice, known as ghosting, has become a (very disrespectful) way to end a relationship in the modern dating world. Even is here with some tips for people who have been ghosted and are facing this sudden silence.

What is ghosting?

The person you’ve been seeing or talking to regularly hasn’t answered for several days now. Unless something has happened to their mobile, it’s quite possible that you’re being ghosted. With no indication and no explanation, all contact has suddenly stopped. You’ve tried to reach the person by phone or through social media, but to no avail.

Now it’s time to face facts: your relationship is probably over. Once you come to the realisation you’ve been ghosted, what do you do? You’re a victim of the new breakup method that’s sweeping through the world of dating. It’s much more brutal than a classic breakup, and the feeling of emotional abandonment can be tough to take. Just like a ghost, the person vanishes into thin air.

You could have been chatting away with your ghoster yesterday and noticed nothing unusual in their behaviour. There was no indication that the next day they’d leave you hanging. That’s what makes ghosting particularly unpleasant.

If you’re ghosted by a man

The worst bit about being ghosted is not knowing why they broke things off with you. With no news and no explanation, you’re left completely in the dark. The ‘why’ of what happened may haunt you for months.

As the person who’s been ghosted, you have a thousand questions running through your head. You might even think you’re partly responsible for what has happened. But rest assured, most of the time, their sudden disappearance has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Ghosting is often seen as the easy way out of a difficult breakup. Some men simply don’t care enough about your relationship and have moved on to their next conquest without a word to you. But not all guys are like this! Some men don’t feel up to the task and choose to run away rather than do the right thing. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t change how you feel as the person who’s been ghosted. Being dumped in this way can cause real emotional pain.

If you’re ghosted by a woman

Women who ghost often do it for their safety. It’s a way to avoid embarrassment but above all to protect themselves. They prefer to disappear rather than risk being verbally abused or blackmailed.

So safety is the main reason women choose to ghost someone. Because they’re often harassed after a breakup, many women prefer this option. If they’re having relationship problems with their partner and feel that the split will be complicated, they prefer to simply disappear.

How to respond when you’ve been ghosted

As soon as you realise you’ve been ghosted, cut off all communication. You’ll never get an explanation from them, so don’t waste your energy! Next, here’s what to do when you’ve just been ghosted:

Talk to loved ones about how you feel

This is a tough time. To get through it, you need to say what’s on your mind. Share your thoughts and feelings with friends and family as a way to ease your pain. If you’re really struggling emotionally, consider getting professional help to overcome the situation. Some people recommend writing a breakup letter and then shredding it. This allows you to symbolically end the relationship and then move on. Action replaces powerlessness in dealing with the person’s sudden disappearance!

Never forget that you’re dealing with someone who shirks responsibility and will never respond. They don’t think you’re worthy of their attention or an explanation. So treat them the same way by erasing them from your life!

See the positive in the split

Once you get over the initial shock of their sudden disappearance, ask yourself a few questions. Do I want a relationship where there’s no respect? Am I looking for a casual fling or real commitment? In the end, the person who ghosted you may actually have done you a favour! Now you’re free to meet someone who wants a real relationship.

Be confident about the future

Even if you’ve been ghosted, don’t automatically assume that every relationship will work out the same way. Of course you’ll need some space to get over the unpleasant experience. Taking time to recover and regain your self-confidence is totally normal!

But over time, your dating doubts will begin to fade. And then you’ll be able to relax and see relationships in a positive light once more.

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