Dating Tips6 minutes Safia, 23 December 2022

How to tell if you’re falling in love

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That little four-letter word… love. What is it? Well, luckily for you, we’re here to tell you. Love (according to the dictionary) is an intense feeling of deep affection or a great interest or pleasure in something. You can love football, you can love a song, but loving another person is a whole different ballgame.

Dating and love don’t always go hand-in-hand. As a single parent, you know exactly what the love of your children is and what your love for them feels like, but romantic love can be evasive, and it can take time to find.

We want to know what love is…

Love between people can be complex, painful, and confusing, but it can also be fulfilling, pleasurable and awe-inspiring.

Love is something that people want, but can seem in short supply, so how do we know if we’ve met ‘the one’, and how do we keep them if we think we have?

How long does it take to fall in love?

According to the science, it takes men and women different amounts of time to fall in love (sorry to our non-binary folks out there, there’s no conclusive answer for you yet). For men, it takes an average of 88 days to fall in love, but it might surprise you that it actually takes women a little longer at 134 days – that’s nearly three months for men and four and a half for women.

But science isn’t always everything, right? People are what really matters, and people tend to believe in love at first sight on the whole. In 2017, polling told us all that 61% of women think they could fall in love when they’ve just met and 72% of men do. Sadly for us, most research about love has been carried out on heterosexual couples, so it might be different for the queers out there, but we’ve yet to find out!

What are the signs you’re falling in love?

So you’re wondering if you’re falling in love? Good for you! Asking whether you’re in love or if you just really, really like someone is a good place to start. Whether it is true love or just the exciting beginning of a relationship, it’s great to feel that you might be falling in love.

Feeling happy and excited by the prospect of a new relationship is the best feeling ever (we think), so we’ve got some things to consider if you think you could be falling in love with someone:

In 2017, polling told us all that 61% of women think they could fall in love when they’ve just met and 72% of men do.

1. You feel positive and happy about your relationship

Number one might seem obvious, but you should be feeling happy about the relationship. If you feel like you could have a future with this person, can’t stop smiling or talk about them all the time, it can feel like love. But it’s important to take a step back and consider how you really feel – especially when you aren’t clouded by their presence. Do you feel drained, overstretched, or like there’s constant drama? Perhaps it’s not quite love yet. But if you feel secure, safe and pure joy, it could be.

2. You find yourself being endlessly curious about them

You might be finding yourself asking them “what are you thinking about?” often, or you might be wondering what they were like as a kid, but being curious about your partner is a sign that something more than just a lot of affection is brewing. If you can’t help but wonder over them, you might just be falling in love.

Love between people can be complex, painful, and confusing, but it can also be fulfilling, pleasurable and awe-inspiring.

3. You want to be intimate with them a lot

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

Sex is an important part of a relationship, and it can sometimes feel like you really like someone, but the sexual chemistry isn’t there. At the beginning of a relationship, it’s all about creating a connection with someone, but if it’s a few months down the line, and you find your sex life less than satisfying, you could end up just being friends instead of romantic partners.

It can sound harsh, but when you see yourself with someone for a long time, being close to them physically is key (unless you’re an asexual, in which case you can find other ways to express your intimate feelings).

4. You adore their quirks

We all know when those rose-tinted glasses are on for the first few weeks, months, or even a couple of years into a relationship, you can find everything they do unexplainably cute. But after a period of time, does the way that they snore begin to grate? Is it the way they wrinkle their nose that started off so adorable that’s started to get irritating for no reason? Quirks are hard to pin down, because they take time to begin to annoy, so it’s probably best to see how this goes and always be open and honest with how you feel. If it’s changed, that’s OK as long as you talk about it.

You can’t hurry love

If there’s one thing we know about, it’s this: you can’t make someone fall in love with you. If you’re lucky, it will happen over time and a deep wealth of affection will be shared between you (sharing is the most important part). Trying to make someone love you who doesn’t can actually push them away, so be yourself and first find that inner love and let it shine through.

It can be hard to make time and space in your life for love when you’re juggling work and your family, but Even is here to make sure that when you’re ready to start dating again, you know how to get started and meet some people you really, really like.

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