Single parents: Find your long-term relationship

How to meet someone when you’re a single parent

The kids. The homework. The housework. You’re so busy making sure everyone else is ok that the prospect of meeting someone seems like a challenge too far. But do not despair! In today’s modern world, single parents can also find someone special and make it last. You’re probably wondering how you can miraculously start a serious relationship. Well, no miracles needed. We’ve got some tips to get you started.

The first step to a lasting relationship: Just go for it

We know, we know – it’s easier said than done, especially when you hardly have a minute to yourself, or if divorce has undermined your self-confidence. But if you want to meet someone new, and to embark on a long-term relationship, you have to put yourself out there. It’s tough to prioritise your love life when you’re feeling overstretched, and easy to let ‘new relationship’ remain a goal to work towards ‘next year’. But remember, there’s no time like the present! Thankfully, there are tonnes of ways for single parents to meet a new life partner these days.

Sign up to a dating site for single parents

If you’re not quite ready to line up a whole load of dates to find that long-term relationship, you can start by signing up to a dating site. Taking this first step is already a big step. Once you’re registered, you can take all the time you need to find the one who’ll make you go all weak at the knees – for all the right reasons! Don’t know any dating sites just for single parents? Then you’re in luck! Even has you covered.

If you want to take things really slowly, social media can also be a good way to meet new people. Joining Facebook groups for single parents will help you connect with people who get where you’re coming from.

Find someone serious at events, activities or parties

For single dads and single mums who prefer to start dating IRL, there are loads of ways to meet someone for something serious. For example, you could take time out each week to do something that makes you feel good (a new sport, pottery, ballroom dancing – whatever floats your boat) and helps you meet new people. Sharing a common interest with a potential partner means you’ll always have something you can do together. Taking this route means that you’re making time for yourself and rediscovering who you are, which is a great place to start a new relationship from. Enjoy this exciting new stage in your life as a single parent!

But if being a single parent is stopping you from jumping headlong into the dating scene, why not look for people in the same situation as you? People who, like you, know all about the challenges and demands of single parenthood. Look for events specifically aimed at single parents, on sites like Even or through social media. You’re not alone! Meeting new friends with shared experiences can be enormously beneficial for your mental health – and you may end up finding a long-term relationship to boot!

How to know if you’re compatible with someone

Compatibility is a key element in building a healthy long-term relationship. But many of us are baffled by what ‘compatibility’ actually means. If your goal is to have a long-term relationship with someone, then remember this: compatibility in a relationship takes work and time.

To create a lasting relationship with someone, you don’t need to have exactly the same outlook on life and you don’t need to like all the same things. Instead, look for someone whose personality complements yours to some extent. Someone who makes you feel good and makes you want to make it work.

The way you feel around this person is one of the best indicators of a good match. But for the relationship to last, there are still a few basics you need to have: respect, shared values and a vision of the future that isn’t drastically different.

How to work on building a healthy and lasting relationship

Once you’ve found your special someone and you see it going somewhere, you’ll have to work at it. That’s right – long-term relationships require work. A healthy, lasting relationship doesn’t just happen overnight (that would be wishful thinking!).

Communication is key

To ensure a lasting relationship, you need to work together to lay down some ground rules, especially about how you communicate with each other. Practise clear, non-violent communication, and don’t be afraid to be open and vulnerable with your partner. Above all else, it is important to view the person you share your life with as a friend. Having the confidence to say what’s in your heart is the key to a lasting relationship.

Talk openly about your plans and vision for the future

Couples change, because individuals change. In life – and in love – nothing is set in stone. If your hopes and desires for the future have moved on from the ‘unspoken contract’ you had at the start of your relationship, share them with your partner and find a middle ground together.

What’s your love language?

When it comes to relationship advice, there are lots of self-help resources out there. One of these is the theory of ‘love languages’, which essentially is how we experience love. We need to know our own love language and our partner’s. How do you feel loved? When your partner spends quality time alone with you? When you receive physical affection? When you’re given a compliment? Or a gift? Ask yourself this question, and help the other person to love you the way you want to be loved!

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