Being a Single Mom: How to balance life and parenting

Being A Single Mom

Although parenting can be a rewarding, joyful experience, it can sometimes be stressful. Solo parents may find it overwhelming. From staying up late with a feverish child to coping with sudden emergencies, a single mother has to do it all alone, and it is okay to feel burned out.

However, realising that it is all up to you can be profound and often empowering. Here are a few tips to help you understand and work around the challenges of being a solo parent.

What are the challenges of being a single mom?

They say it takes a village to raise a child and as a single mother, you could be feeling unsupported. The major challenge you face as a single parent is finding a work-life balance. Financial strain, the pressure to make decisions alone, and the lack of dating opportunities can take a toll on you.

How to manage work and parenting as a single mom?

Being a parent is already a full-time job – one that comes without any breaks. Finding a balance between single parenting and a full-time job may sound nearly impossible. But it doesn’t always have to be difficult. Here are a few tips that can help you find more time for yourself and your kids:

1.     Ask for help: When in need, there is no shame in seeking help. You can ask your siblings or a friend to cook dinner occasionally. You can also get information from other solo moms in your office or community about places that offer after-school activities, babysitters that are available on short notice, etc.
2.     Set boundaries: Work is important, but that doesn’t mean you work 24/7. Feel free to say no to working after hours even if you are working from home.
3.     Set up unique housing arrangements: Your challenges are unique and so should your solutions. For instance, if you have an extra room, you can rent it out to another single mom and support each other.

How to make time for yourself as a single mom?

Of course, you love your children. However, you need some me time too – a day to indulge and pamper yourself. Here is how to make time for yourself as a solo mother:

• If you have a family around, request them to accommodate your kids for a day once a month.
• Meet other single moms and swap babysitting duties, which is totally free.
• Have a night off when the kids go to bed. This means that you don’t do any dishes or cleaning. Just do something that you like such as reading a book or watching your favourite series.

How to find a balance between parenting and social life?

Single mothers and social life won’t go together, they say. We think otherwise. With a little planning, you can still have an active social life and hang out with your friends without feeling guilty about leaving your kids alone.

Make solo mom friends: Who can understand you better than a single mother? Find activities that include kids or just some things that single moms love to do.

Find a weekend activity for your kids: How about enrolling your kid in a swimming or piano class, or some other activities they enjoy? It is a win-win for all. You get a few hours to hang out with your friends or family while the kids can have their own social life.

Plan your weekend: You may not be able to go for those impromptu events but you can always plan those weekend hangouts with friends and have a good time.

How to make the most of single parenting?

You have gone through a massive transition period in your life and have decided to go solo and raise your kid. The challenges can be countless but as a single mother, you can take control of parenting and impart the values that matter to you the most to your child.

Tips for successful single parenting

1.     Learn to prioritise: Prioritising will help you avoid spending time on not-so-important things. For instance, you don’t always need a picture-perfect house. On some days, skip the cleaning and spend that time on self-care.
2.     Build a support system: Reach out to friends, family or online or offline groups to build a social support network. Solo parenting can become less stressful when you have people who can understand your unique challenges.
3.     Maintain consistent discipline: Set a routine for your kids and stick to them. Children thrive when they have a routine to follow.
4.     Celebrate: Every time your child accomplishes something, celebrate it. Let your child know how proud you are of their achievements. Also, take your child’s achievements as a token of your success as a single mother.

How to cope with the stress of being a single mom?

By following a routine, eating healthy, and making a few such simple changes, you can cope with the stress of being a single mom.

1.     Financial stability: There is no denying that your financial stability can change the way you approach life. Do everything within your power to attain financial stability.
2.     Say no to the guilt trip:  To be good at parenting, you may need to take some time off for yourself. Don’t feel guilty about taking time away from your child. Remember, you need to stay relaxed and feel balanced to fulfill your duties. Also, nothing good will come out of blaming yourself for the breakup or divorce. You need to stay positive and happy for your family’s sake.
3.     Make healthy life choices: Stress eating and overlooking your health might look like an easy way to cope. Don’t fall for that trap. As a solo mother, you must eat healthy, find time to do some exercises, etc. Taking care of yourself is the first step to leading a balanced life.

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