Dating Tips6 minutes Safia, 15 February 2023

Looking for a Partner When You Have a Child – How It Works

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Are you a single mum or single dad who’s finally ready to take the plunge and start looking for a partner? Someone to brighten up your days? Someone you can wake up next to in the morning and go to sleep next to at night? Then you’re in the right place.

Looking for a partner and dating when you have a child is a minefield for single parents. For single mothers or fathers, who don’t just have to deal with their job but who also shoulder the lion’s share of responsibility for their child, looking for a new partner is anything but easy. As a single mum or dad, you’re doubtless asking where on earth you’re supposed to find the time and energy you need to look for a new partner alongside your job, your household and your child. Let’s be honest, most nights of the week, you only make it as far as the settee once your children are in bed and you finally have a couple of minutes to yourself. And that’s totally understandable! But you might be wondering how you’re supposed to find the right partner for you and your children, someone who shares similar values and ideas to you when it comes to raising children.

Stop your thoughts from spiralling, take a deep breath and start believing the following statement: it’s not impossible to find a partner when you’ve got a child. Quite the opposite! There are plenty of opportunities to find love, even alongside looking after your children and the usual everyday stresses. One thing is for certain: there are plenty of family-minded singles out there who are desperate to meet you. So, we’ve put together a few tips for singles with children on how to make their search for a new sweetheart a success.


Dating When You Have a Child – How Does It Work?


Going to work, doing laundry, going shopping, cooking dinner, entertaining the children… Single parents need great time-management skills if they want to start the project of looking for a partner. There are times when you, as a single mum or dad, might be wondering how on earth you’re supposed to manage it all: your job, your household, your child, and then looking for a partner, too. There are periods when your children need some extra attention or when your job is particularly demanding. On occasion, the thought of simply doing your work and sorting out everything you need to do as a mother or father is too much in and of itself.

But things don’t stay that way for ever. Sometimes your job makes more demands on your time, sometimes less, and your child goes through periods where they need more or less attention from their mother or father.

Our tip? Start by looking for a partner online when, for once, you’ve got a bit more time to catch your breath. After all, you can always find a couple of minutes between tackling one mountain of laundry and the next.


Finding a New Partner as a Single Parent – A Unique Challenge


For single parents, both women and men, looking for a partner is a unique challenge. Especially when one sole parent is responsible for the children – single mothers or fathers can feel like they simply don’t have time for anything else. When they’re at work, their children are at nursery or in school, and they have plenty more to do at home, like cooking, playing, or driving their children to see their friends or to sports clubs. Many singles aren’t sure where they can find the time to date alongside their job, their household and their child. It’s not just you: it’s the same for lots of other men and women with children!

Time is the most precious resource for a lot of single parents. That’s exactly why it makes sense to start looking for a new partner online, something you can do anywhere and at any time. Platforms targeted at single parents are a good starting point. They’re an easy way to meet singles who have similar or completely different plans for their lives, depending on what you have in mind.


A Partner With or Without a Child?

Would you prefer a single mum or single dad, a family-minded single or just a single who doesn’t mind that you have a child? When you’re single and have children, you soon start wondering whether your partner should also have a child, or at least experience with children. It can help if both of you are familiar with the challenges that a life with children can bring. No matter whether you’re a mother or a father, before you step into the dating world as a single parent, you need to know your stance on your partner potentially having children and what kind of family you’d like for yourself in the future. Before your first date, take your time to reflect on all of these questions.


Recognising What You Have in Common – and What You Don’t


Dating as a single mother or father is one thing, but managing to forge a relationship with your partner’s children on top of your relationship with your own is another. If both singles have children, this raises new questions: what ideas on child-rearing do you share, what differences do you have, and how do you handle these differences?

Finding love can make you feel like you’re walking on air. However, day-to-day questions about joint child-rearing can often bring you back down to earth.

Our tip: talk to friends who are single parents or people you know who’ve had similar experiences. They might have helpful advice or tips for you. How much responsibility is each partner willing or able to take on for their partner’s child? How much time do you spend together as a family and when is there time for the two of you? As a woman or a man, do you have expectations that you’ll fulfil certain roles when it comes to dealing with the household and raising your children, which might restrict your partner?

Take the time to discuss these issues and similar topics with your loved ones. After all, a relationship isn’t always sunshine and rainbows: it’s sometimes about being able to compromise. No matter how much singles want a life with a partner, people in relationships also want time to themselves – especially when their job and their children take up lots of space. Every relationship is different and requires individual solutions to be found so that, ultimately, everyone involved can strike the right balance. Don’t forget: you can do it! Somewhere out there, your new sweetheart is waiting for you and your child(ren).

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